Facing difficulties in my life every day, every night I would tell myself that I would do things differently tomorrow. That I would be able to tackle a challenge that had been impossible for me for years. That I would somehow be Different. Why did I think that? It may be a quirk of the English language, that it has a future tense, that we speak of the future as if it were a separate thing. Thus you can tell yourself things about Future You. Things which you would automatically reject if stated in the Right Now. Maybe it’s the inspirational stories you’ve read about people overcoming adversity and how They Are Different Now. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. For whatever reason, I struggle with that and so do you.
But most of the positive thinking is harmful bullshit. If you struggle with something you will always struggle with that thing. If you suck at dealing with chaos, then you will always suck at that. You are what you are, and failure to account for that will hurt you.
Oh, but isn’t that negative? You should believe in yourself! You have heard that for years and so have I. Forget it. It is a destructive, dangerous delusion. Yes, you can acquire new skills. Yes, you may be able to do things you thought you could not. But you can’t put in what nature left out. You are what you are. “But what about Elon Musk? He wasn’t always where he is now!”. No, but he was always brilliant, hardworking, and adamant about getting what he wanted. If you aren’t an Elon you can’t make yourself into one. This goes against what you have been conditioned to believe, I know. But you are in fact limited, unless you actually are that one in a million super talent you are convinced you are.
“So what then? Give up and resign myself to a life of pizza delivery, video games, and increasingly-depraved porn?”. No, the takeaway is, don’t tell yourself you will magically be able to do things you have sucked at your whole life. Don’t tell yourself that you will somehow be able to make it work just because you want to. You have to recognize that Future You will be exactly like Right Now You, only older, slower, and less resilient. Accept that. You may change a lot of things — your work, your habits, your skills — but you will always have the same basic hardware you have right now. I know what you’re thinking, Bill — I can see that thought forming in your head right through the Kindle. “Not me! I’m more motivated/ambitious/self-disciplined/just plain better than those other people!”. Keep clinging to that raft and you will drown. There is a reason so many people fail in their plans — they think they will be different. That they will prefer to go to the gym instead of watching TV. That they will want to work 60 hours a week running their own business instead of slacking off. They will somehow just Be Different. You won’t. None of us do. You can do different, maybe, if, if I say, it is within you to do so. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure.
You might think I’m saying to just accept being the you that you currently are. I’m not saying that — I’m saying the Future You that you aspire to be has to be grounded in reality. You can’t be built like Dorian Yates. If you are a patzer you won’t become a Grandmaster. You have to look hard at what is truly within your potential and what isn’t. Be ruthless about this. Don’t let optimism, wishful thinking, or lack of clarity lead you to waste hours, days, or years.